I don’t get a lot of encouragement and support from my immediate family.
Have you ever shared your dream with someone, only to have them stomp on it with a few unsupportive words?
‘I’ve been thinking about writing a blog, and—’ ‘It’s really hard to get readers, you know.’ Does this happen to you?
Sometimes your family and friends the people you want to be most supportive of you, just aren’t as enthusiastic as you would like them to be. They don’t understand. It can be deflating and saddening. You are excited about your adventure, your new activity and they are raining on your parade.
There’s a breed of control freaks who quietly lurk, ready to attack your precious, vulnerable ideas as soon as you share them with the world. These people are known as non-supporters, dream killers, or just plain pains in the butt.
You’ll find them in the workplace, in social circles, in the family. It could be your boss, your friend, your parents, your partner.
But if you have a solid, well-considered life dream that you’re driven to accomplish, you’ll probably want to share it with friends, family and co-workers. You will want to come out of the closet with your grandiose dream. Some will pat you on the back and say, “GO FOR IT,” but there’s always “one” person who gets off on taking a dump in your happiness sandwich.
I believe it’s natural for us to want our parents to approve of what we do, and feel we are doing something “wrong” or “Inappropriate” if we do not. I also believe that our parents love us deeply. Even if they might not show their love in a way we understand, they usually want us to succeed, and do well in life.
It sucks when your support system is so unsupportive. I know people get wrapped up in their own lives. We make time for those who are important to us. It often seems to me that I am not one of those important people.
I am still working on this, but – you need to recog
nise that you are not obligated to have a relationship with someone just because you are related to them. Normally when a relationship breaks down we recognise that it has ended and it is time to let it go. We realise that the person on the other end is not interested in reciprocity.
Often with family, it is holidays and special occasions that bring us together. If someone is demanding, selfish, rude, ignoring you or gives you nothing and they are a relative you take it because they are “family”.
Being dependent on approval—so dependent that we barter away all our time, energy, and personal preferences to get it—ruins lives. It separates us from our true selves, precludes real intimacy, and turns us into seething cesspools of suppressed anger.
If the “criticism” is coming from your family or a friend, it may be best to simply block it out. Have confidence in your plans, and refuse to hear their crap. Locate your internal switch called GIVE A SHIT and simply flick it over from DO to DON’T.
Perhaps the person is a friend who “never” supports your dreams? If you find yourself in a relationship with a toxic person who continually tears holes in your ambitions, it may be best to cut off the relationship. Choose to surround yourself with people who make you want to break out into a happy dance. Align with people who make you feel alive.
Continue loving that person regardless of the circumstances. Forgive and move on. Remember the good times you’ve had.