Another first post in a series today, my creative series. I hope to look at creativity and where is comes from, what inspires us and if there are ways to spark creativity. As I write more posts I will link them all together so hopefully you can just click and I can help you to find your creativity.
I often have anxiety about my projects. It took me a long time to work out where this anxiety came from. Someone very close and dear to me when I was younger was creatively toxic. They didn’t intend to be this way, but this is how they are/were and it is an accepted way to behave. This person is often deemed to be an expert in many areas and can be a little overbearing to set you on a path that they thought was the right one.
I love this person dearly, however, creativity is a fragile process and the fear of getting it “wrong” is tough to overcome. I can tell others to be free and to go for it, to get creative. I always try to praise others as you never know what they are taking to heart. Then sometimes my own voice gets lost in my head. I am old enough to know better, to do it my way without fear of judgement. I still get stuck in that rut.
If you add to that any other rejection from teachers going through school or peers as a younger person when you were trying to fit in often you become to paralysed to try and do something new and try something new. Or you do complete a project and you look at it and all you can see are the faults, you become your own worst critique.
I hate drawing or colouring unless it is perfect. I prefer to leave my sketchbooks unmarked and perfect so they don’t get “ruined”. I will rip out pages or just not complete tasks if the book doesn’t “look right”. I would love to fill up a sketchbook with doodles and ideas to spark my imagination. Even if there were “mistakes”. I just want to keep my creativity flowing and sparking. I read so many books that just tell me to start and keep going. I can start but sometimes it is hard to keep going.
I am a work in progress – still trying to escape those childhood bonds.